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  • Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

    The debut release from Philadelphia's The Goalie's Anxiety at the Penalty Kick, now available for the first time on vinyl! 10 songs that make use of every instrument in their repertoire- strings, keys, drums, guitars, and bells. Dual vocals pepper throughout, playing off each other and weaving through the music to create a beautiful tapestry.

    For fans of Carissa's Wierd, The World is a Beautiful Place, and Very Secretary.

    Comes with digital download. Mock up may vary in color from finished product.

    Includes unlimited streaming of WAYS OF HEARING via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
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  • Cassette
    Cassette + Digital Album

    The debut release from Philadelphia's The Goalie's Anxiety at the Penalty Kick. 10 songs that make use of every instrument in their repertoire- strings, keys, drums, guitars, and bells. Dual vocals pepper throughout, playing off each other and weaving through the music to create a beautiful tapestry.

    For fans of Carissa's Wierd, The World is a Beautiful Place, and Very Secretary.

    Mock up may vary in color from finished product.

    Includes unlimited streaming of WAYS OF HEARING via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

    Sold Out

1.
found the socks you lost wool & flecked with gold but I traded them for an olive coat at least this way one of us is warm there’s a man inside the hallway filled with doors and he’s on the cross and he’s on the floor by now he’s probably halfway home I kicked him in the chest & broke both his legs took his wallet, keys, & cell phone left his poems & his brains where he’s going, he’s sure to need them there’s a hummingbird that looks just like David Byrne he lives above the bush that looks just like Che by now he’s probably halfway home anyway every bird i see they all sing about letting go & fears of letting go or something else, i don’t know
2.
i almost forgot to call before stopping home meant to ask if you left the doors unlocked or if the window’s closed hope the cat’s not broken up or lying on the floor & thinking of the future that he’ll never know now that you mention it i’ve been reading rules I haven’t read & i don’t know what they’re on about but i can’t see how we’d live without them without them the cellar’s hardly lit watch out or you’ll trip over it on the shelf, be careful, or you’ll miss it’s easy to forget to bring this forever left behind we love you so much when you go, tell everyone that you’ll do the things you talk about everyone’s got enough to care about & the last time you see anyone you can tell us what your book’s about & take what you can’t live without from us it’s no coincidence that the mailman said you don’t exist & i’ve been wasting language over it burned fifty-seven pages over this & i know how it sounds this time she’ll love you so much we love you, son we’re proud of all that you have done & all the things that you have won & every time you thought about us we love you, son even though you disappointed us even though you pissed all over us even though you’ve done nothing for us we love you, son everyone’s all up in arms for us tried to stop them charging just because but the boulder’s got away from us we love you, son when you go, tell everyone that you did all that you cared about everyone’s got too much to care about us on the first, let’s not forget with your fingers tracing over it has the landlord even noticed it? the bruises that he’ll never fix for us you papered over it i closed my eyes & felt for it i close them when i look at it i use them when i talk about it
3.
we all forgot to dim the lights & shut off the faucet when morning comes the laundry room will be underwater the setting sun looks great because we’re on the moon now where everything is safe & calm & nobody can make it up & if they could they’d tear our walls down offer me all of your jars filled with rain offer me all of the words that you’d say i will be hoarding all of the cocaine i’ll seal it up in mason jars and cover all the gaps between the in-between & where you buried your feelings in a field of dust & broke down all the boxes i will be quiet for one hundred days i’ll wait here silently counting the planes her rocket ship’s gold & engraved there’s no dialectics between man & grave the first rule of life is to mean what you say & to water the plants before you go away her window gets smaller each day from mountaintops everyone looks just the same
4.
i didn’t even know your name when i heard that you had died i guess that now i’m out of time & out of culture i hope your robberies went well i read about them in the times ten seconds on the nightly news they’ll never understand you so step in front of armored cars spend your evenings at the barn wave at the governor if you see him jogging on the sidewalk run from women dressed in red you’ll never have to leave your bed & venture out into the best of all possible worlds turn left on catherine instead & you’ll see me up ahead staring down into the pit of all possible worlds you shouldn’t need to tie up all new bows when there’s hundreds back at home on the screen, you are standing all alone you don’t have to be alone when i see you i’ll tell you what you know you don’t have to be alone (for ulrike meinhof)
5.
did you hear about the weather did you hear about the bliss did you know the war’s not over did you hear I’m getting sick did you find that faded photo weigh the corners down with bricks the artist as a martyr the artist as a dick did you hear about calypso plucked his eyebrows like a thread tied him up and left him lying in her bed did you hear about the lighthouse filled up with a million heads the door’s open such a shame that they’re all dead they’re killing all the cattle and breaking all their ribs while i’m mulling over calendars for six fingers closing over nothing my hand breaks off at the wrist & i tell you that I never meant it to get like this let’s find a quiet window where we can watch all of the wars let’s find a quiet place now let’s find some quiet brush off your dirty mattress while your hair’s still caked with sand if the blanket stares up at me i’ll stare back blankly when i see you on the corner on the other side of the road i’ll be waiting for you, the cat stands on my arm
6.
7.
when everyone’s all gone turns out they took the first night off were the cameras all turned on when the gardener saw god? i’m fleeing the cold air hiding out on the ark waiting for you to get there i’ve been feeling better since i got my fingers uncrossed, i just about lost them got rest in the evening then at dawn i saw fire stretching up to the ceiling between the loves & the fears & the telling-off, i’m on my own now at the roadside barn again they’re throwing rocks at your head one step & you’ll be dead two steps & you’ll see heaven up ahead i’m two weeks into having everything i ever wanted the only thing that’s missing is the fear you need to keep you honest i don’t really want to fall in love with someone who’s corked up in a bottle or with someone who’s got a job or with someone who’s never had one built my tower on the sand hills i knew it wouldn’t last forever but i don’t really wanna talk about that i don’t really wanna think about that this feels like home again he feels like someone i could live with he’s tearing down the building leaving tracks down by the river found pieces of your car picked up the ones that you forgot rolled them up into a ball cast them off & now they’re gone i packed my hat & coat dropped my camera on the road the things we brought are all but gone can’t help but want what i was promised i’m six weeks into having the only thing i ever wanted the only thing that’s missing is the gun i need to keep me honest we’ll meet up at the park spontaneous & after dark fucked up to have to live forever moving bricks up jacob’s ladder mud stuck in the tire treads stretch of highway long deserted i don’t really wanna talk about that i don’t really wanna think about that i’m wasting time again by doing art, not politics took the weekend off from work & spent it driving through god’s country i don’t really wanna fall in love with someone who stays up after dark or with someone who’s got a job or with someone who’s never had one at the hotel again they’re throwing rocks at your head one step & you’ll be dead two steps & you’ll see heaven up ahead at the road sign on the left they’re shooting guns at your head one step & you’ll be dead two steps & you’ll be on your way to heaven
8.
the plane went down on wednesday i wrote the date on my arm so i’ll always remember that she’s gone while i’m stuck in sublimation in the alps waiting for may dad, you’d have done the same when you were my age i’m staring at a picture of you rowing on the lake 1984 never felt so far away but i’ll never get to ask you you’ll never get to answer maybe you’ll talk to me when we’re both dead forever at first it was a secret that we kept from each other i never thought i’d use it, thought i’d hold it until the end check underneath the dog bed you’ll find a tiny blind man underneath his eyeballs, he’s got the truth inside his head this is the new religion it’s where the pilot’s gone & why it’s been a decade since the hockey team won she was born in mourning from the barrel of a gun & just like joseph stalin, she’ll be loved by everyone just like joseph stalin, everyone will love her every winter is getting shorter it’s not romantic it’s never clear who saw what coming when you stopped glowing turn the lights off you’re never here it’s changed, divulged in riddles so we’ll sleep for days it’s strange
9.
closer 03:20
i was told on the phone that there’d be a way back the blues & reds combine again keep them in your pocket the weathermen said at half past ten we’ll blow all our brains out so read a book have a smoke & live forever i fell down that hole i fell off the rodeo i got eaten by the bull he only wants the four-leaf clover the one he knows that I took the one I lost so long ago she greeted all her friends with an improvised bomb strapped to her chest wonders how it came to this how sixteen guns is all that’s left cut her hand off at the wrist it grew back into a fist i’m sending all my postcards to the wrong address & keeping tabs on who responds & filling up the casket with petals torn from a rose petals torn from a rose
10.
you’re finding it so hard everyone’s around the bar you know you’re looking dumb it’s obvious to everyone if you had walked so far the stories you could tell about what you saw you shouldn’t make them up it’ll be obvious to everyone the seventeenth was clear but everyone before that couldn’t hear i’m bathing once or twice i’ll put my house in order before you die i hope that you’re alright i hope that there’s a god who’s on your side i hope i’m being clear to everyone around us i’m buying more than i could need & saving some under the bed that’s the first place i would check if i showed up & you were dead if ninety pills won’t be enough for me to store inside my head a hundred pills might be enough i’ll store them all inside my head

credits

released October 30, 2020

alyssa resh played drums & bells & keyboard.
ana hughes perez played violin.
becky hanno played keyboard & sang.
ben curttright played guitar & sang.
michael foster played bass.
sean matthew kelley played guitar.

mark watter recorded this album at headroom in philadelphia, pennsylvania. joe reinhart mixed this album. warren hildebrand mastered it.

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The goalie's anxiety at the penalty kick Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

music for winter

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